True Happiness Lies in Making Others Happy
This weekend, I had the pleasure of rewatching one of my favorite movies, Legends of the Fall. Based on a short story by Jim Harrison, the film is set in early 1900s Montana and follows the life of Tristan, played by Brad Pitt. While the story is filled with tragic events, its central themes are family and love. Watching it again made me reflect on how simple yet challenging life must have been during that time. This thought led me to think about my own childhood and what I might consider an ideal upbringing.
I was born in New York in 1967 but grew up in South Florida in the mid-70s. Life there seemed uneventful compared to today; South Florida now feels like Tomorrowland in contrast to my childhood. I lived in a small home with my parents and two siblings. We rode bikes to school, bought clothes at K-mart and Sears, had Sunday dinners at Red Lobster, and enjoyed weekly visits from both sets of grandparents. We took the bus (50 cents) to the mall on Saturdays, collected soda cans to recycle for pocket money, and went to Disney World a couple of times (tickets were $6-8). My first job was as a busboy at the Bagel Stop restaurant, where I was paid $50 for the weekend and fed breakfast and lunch. I’m sure I ate more than I earned! I was 14.
Recently, I’ve noticed posts on Facebook about how simple life was growing up in South Florida during that time. I hadn’t given it much thought before, as I don’t usually dwell on the past. However, it’s interesting to consider how different growing up in the early 2000s must have been compared to my own experience. This is not a judgment on Millennials or Gen Z, just an observation.
In previous messages, I’ve mentioned several important figures in my life, my personal “Mount Rushmore.” I’d like to add another: a poster of the spiritual leader Meher Baba, which hung in my aunt and uncle’s house with the quote, “True Happiness Lies in Making Others Happy.” As a teenager, I didn’t fully understand its meaning. It’s natural to be self-centered at that age, and altruism or benevolence can be rare traits. It wasn’t until many decades later that these words became a guiding principle in my life.
Dr. Wayne Dyer describes several stages in a person’s life journey: the Athlete Stage, the Warrior Stage, the Statesperson Stage, and the Spirit Stage. The early phases are ego-driven and focused on becoming, centered on who you will become, how you appear to the world, and how you navigate your existence. That’s why I initially struggled to grasp Meher Baba’s message. Dr. Dyer explains that the Statesperson Stage is when one’s existence is no longer about oneself; it’s about sharing, giving back, mentoring, and being grateful. I believe I’ve been in this Statesperson Stage for several years now. Since I stopped actively caring for patients about seven years ago to focus on growing our brand nationwide, I’ve had the opportunity to serve on a much broader scale. This transition has opened my eyes and heart to the duties and responsibilities of being in this phase. Whatever stage you find yourself in, just know that you are exactly where you need to be. Believe that everything that happens to you is for your highest good.