The Reluctant Gardener

Embracing the Full Benefit

This past weekend, I completed my front swale garden project. I planted 125 perennial peanut ground cover, 100 Green Island ficus, moved nine yards of topsoil, spread 85 bags of mulch, and coordinated the removal of 11 yards of pea gravel. This project didn’t start from a positive place, I’d like to add. My neighbor—who, for the past 10 years, has made a habit of calling code enforcement over random acts of homeownership more times than I care to count—made this his latest call of duty. To be clear, I own my share of our Hatfield-and-McCoy existence.

Our front swale was covered in tiny pea gravel, allowing up to three additional cars to park off the street. It was manicured and maintained like a Zen sand garden, and I often received compliments from passersby on its simplicity and usefulness. Then, after returning from a recent trip, I found a code violation notice in my mailbox detailing the infraction. At first, I was furious—“He got me again,” I thought. But as I dug deeper, I learned more about the reasoning behind grass swales and the potential issues with gravel. I went into full bargaining mode with the city planner, but there was no room for negotiation—I had to comply.

However, as I began the project, I embraced what the Navy SEALs called Full Benefit —the idea that adversity provides an opportunity to test yourself under extreme conditions, exposing weaknesses and forcing necessary adjustments. Sometimes, adversity presents opportunities, and we should embrace them when they arise. Not all things are meant to go your way. If everything went according to plan, how would you know how to adapt, form critical decision-making processes or relish in the victory of a challenging situation? So, I set out to design a Better Homes and Gardens-worthy swale for all to see.

The Mental Side of Hard Work

As I toiled under the hot sun for the past two months, I was transported back to my teenage years working construction and other manual labor jobs. What struck me most was the ability to get lost in thought—to “work out” any issues or restructure whatever life was presenting.

I bring this up because our business is in a transitional moment, and I’ve been under a bit of pressure. Self-induced or otherwise, stress affects everyone differently. It reminded me of a moment not so long ago when we closed all of our offices and pivoted from a general medical practice to specialize in Federal Workers’ Compensation. We burned the ships and, in many ways, started from scratch. At the time, I was certain we were making the right decision, and truthfully, I don’t recall being anything other than optimistic about our endeavor at the time. Actually, I was extremely optimistic if I recall. It was that reflection on our past success that cleared the path for our latest move. I was now more focused and determined than ever to see our plans through. I am certain that messaging would have never made it through had I not had the time alone with my thoughts.

For me, stress or uncertainty doesn’t cause paralysis—it makes me dig in deeper on solutions and ride the wave until completion. I carefully plan out each stage and manage each step until the task or issue is resolved. I’m also not one to make decisions by committee, either. While I may seek advice in areas where I’m unsure, the final decision—and the responsibility that comes with it—rests with me. And I don’t deliberate. As I’ve stated in prior blogs, every decision has a 50/50 chance of being right—the only truly wrong decision is indecision. Faith, confidence, and belief must be at the foundation of all major decisions:

• Faith in yourself.
• Confidence that you’ve diagnosed and assessed all aspects of your decision—the upside as well as the downside.
• Belief that it will all work out as planned.

The Power of Being Alone with Your Thoughts

I’ve previously emphasized the usefulness of mental health counseling, and I stand by that. But I’d also add that, outside of addiction and abuse, most challenges can be worked through with good old-fashioned hard work. There’s nothing quite like spending time with your own thoughts. And that is exactly what my time in the dirt allowed for.

What started as an exercise in home renovation turned into an opportunity for self-reflection—reinforcing past decisions and purposefully planning for the future. And oddly enough, I found myself secretly thankful to my neighbor for what had taken place.

Spending time with your own thoughts is a superpower that should be developed. You’ll find that you can be your own best advisor—as well as the creator of your own future. Our first inclination as humans is to kick and scream when faced with adversity, but perhaps embracing the full benefit may provide an opportunity that never would have existed otherwise.